It’s no secret that the crew here at Cosby Sweaters are sports fans and that we’re as addicted to the NFL Playoffs as the rest of America. It’s hard to recall a year with more parity in the playoffs or more intriguing match-ups as we close in on the Super Bowl. With the Playoffs headed into their penultimate match-up we got the gang together to lay down our picks for the AFC and NFC Championship games on Sunday.
First, the NFC. It’s a classic match-up of two-long time rivals as the Green Bay Packers take on the Chicago Bears at Soldier Field. The Packers have momentum, the Bears have home field advantage, they split their regular season meetings, who’s it gonna be:
Theo – Green Bay over Chicago. This is a battle between the new school of elite NFL quarterbacks. It’s all about Aaron Rodgers vs. Jay Cutler. Ultimately, I think it comes down to who’s less of a douche bag in their everyday life. Cutler’s got more swagger, but I believe he’s also a bigger douche bag than Aaron Rodgers. Rodger’s whole “people’s champ” celebration is the most idiotic thing I’ve witnessed in two decades but it doesn’t outlast Cutler’s overall douche-like disposition. Green Bay by 10 points.
The Diplomat – Bears 24 Packers 20. The Bears at Soldier Field won’t be beat. Cutler literally bends over Aaron Rodgers and makes him his Josh McDaniel. Bears defense shuts down the Packers running offense that doesn’t exist. 98% of fans leave Soldier Field drunk.
The Doctor – Green Bay by a touchdown. The most important factor in making a run to the Super Bowl is getting hot at the right time and there is no team hotter than the Packers. Defenses have to give Rodgers so much respect that I could run for 100 yards in that backfield and the Pack’s defense is locking down everything in sight. The Bears almost managed to lose to the Seahawks at home? This one is green and yellow all the way.
Big Skeezy – Green Bay over Chicago because that whiny little bitch Jay Cutler can suck my balls [Editors note: The Diplomat is a huge Bears fan and tried to stab Big Skeezy with a broken ketchup bottle over this comment]
And then the night cap: Jets vs. Steelers in the AFC title game. Two teams with defenses, running games and a propensity for talking that gets everyone fired up. Gentlemen, make your picks:
Theo – NYJ over PIT. There hasn’t been a larger group of cocksuckers assembled than the 2010 New York Jets. Their cocksuckery obviously starts at the top with their extremity and snack loving, smack talking coach. The problem though is that Team Cocksucker backs it up. On the other side of the field is one of the biggest conflicts in sports: Mike Tomlin is ‘the’ most likable coach in the NFL but his quarterback is the premier rapist in professional athletics…which makes him virtually impossible to like. We haven’t even mentioned Hines Ward… Hines thinks that his persistent smiling will hide that fact that he’s a prick of EPIC proportions. None of that has to do with my pick though. At the end of the day I think the Steelers are too beat up, while the NY Jets are playing like it’s them against the world. Cocksuckers by 7 points.
The Diplomat – Steelers 27 Jets 10. Mark Sanchez gets his career ended by a helmet to helmet from James Harrison. James Harrison proceeds to punch Jason Taylor in the mouth for not having retired last year. Big Ben spends the second half running around Heinz field bathrooms looking for a wife.The Doctor – Steelers by a field goal. The Jets are hotter. The Jets defense is every bit as good as the Steelers. The Steelers are banged up. LT is playing like a man possessed in what could be his last shot at a ring. But when it comes to this game none of that matters. The Steelers are as experienced and savvy a group as you will find in the league. They have a game changer in Troy Polamalu on defense, a QB who’s seen it all on and off the field, and a home crowd that will make the boost Seattle got from their 12th man look like nothing. Oh, and the Jets already won their Super Bowl by beating the Pats so this is a letdown game for them.Big Skeezy – Jets over Steelers, because I f**king hate the Steelers.
