This year’s version of the Brooklyn Nets is costing Russian owner Mikhail Prokhorov roughly 8 kajillion dollars in luxury tax penalties, and what has it gotten him? A 3-7 record, Kevin Garnett’s corpse, and Jason Kidd — which is really just a fancy name for “Lawrence Frank’s Puppet”. In the final minute of an embarrassing home loss to the (surprisingly 9-2) Portland Trailblazers on Monday night, Coach Kidd was caught staring into the distance, probably wondering when his early-season nightmare would be over.

However, there is a silver lining for Nets fans: they play in the putrid Eastern Conference, which (as of this writing) has only three (THREE!) teams with winning records. In other words, everyone in the East has a chance. Well, a chance to make the playoffs, that is — with one lucky team having the distinct honor of losing to the Bulls, Heat or Pacers in the second round. Though, something tells us that’s probably not what Prokhorov had in mind when he put this team together.