With the Seahawks and Packers set to kick off the 2014 season on Thursday and the baseless “expert” predictions ready to rear their disgustingly uneducated heads, Next Impulse Sports has you covered in a charitable effort to avoid Herm Edwards, Marshall Faulk, Chris Berman and Mark Schlereth bumbling over their preseason picks.
The NFL is chucked full of flamboyant personalities, pretty WAGs and broadcasters, along with a whole bunch of Johnny Football haters, all of which should hit the headlines in 2014.
That being said, who is most likely to take a shot at Manziel’s knee or spit serious game at ESPN reporter Britt McHenry?
| – | Kiley Kmiec | Sean Wagner-McGough | Andrew Doughty | Ryan Wong | Michael Blair | Scott Sinnott | Brad Epstein |
| Take a shot at Manziel’s knee | Tom Brady | Brian Hoyer | Ray Lewis | Tom Brady | Rex Grossman | Brian Hoyer | Anderson Varejao |
| Punch Richard Sherman | Michael Crabtree | Jim Harbaugh | Joe Buck | Tom Brady | Richard Sherman | Erin Andrews | Blaine Gabbert |
| Make Philip Rivers cry | Everyone | One of his 99 kids | Dick Enberg | Tom Brady | A good novel | Everyone | Britt McHenry |
| Hit on Britt McHenry | Matthew Stafford | Jerry Jones | Manti Te’o | Tom Brady | Gronk | Blackburn’s mom | Lindsay Duke |
The typical NFL award predictions include the likes of Tom Brady, Aaron Rodgers and the Master of the Universe: Peyton Manning, but our staff threw a couple chipmunks into the pile this year, including Brandin Cooks (above):
| – | Kiley Kmiec | Sean Wagner-McGough | Andrew Doughty | Ryan Wong | Michael Blair | Scott Sinnott | Brad Epstein |
| Offensive ROY | Teddy Bridgewater | Brandin Cooks | Bishop Sankey | Johnny Manziel | Sammy Watkins | Cody Latimer | Blake Bortles |
| Defensive ROY | C.J. Mosley | Khalil Mack | Ra’Shede Hageman | Jadeveon Clowney | Khalil Mack | Bradley Roby | Michael Sam |
| MVP | Khalil Mack | Peyton Manning | Aaron Rodgers | Tom Brady | Jay Cutler | Peyton Manning | Peyton Manning |
| Offensive POY | Jay Cutler | Peyton Manning | Aaron Rodgers | Calvin Johnson | Jay Cutler | Peyton Manning | Brandon Marshall |
| Defensive POY | Peanut Tillman | J.J. Watt | Joe Haden | J.J. Watt | Jared Allen | Von Miller | J.J. Watt |
| Coach of the Year | Marc Trestman | Marc Trestman | Bruce Arians | Pete Carroll | Marc Trestman | Jon Fox | Joe Philbin |
The Patriots and Colts appear headed toward division titles in the AFC’s East and South, respectively, and no one in the non-Bay Area or San Diego and KC metros actually think the Broncos can be caught in 2014, but one surprising unanimous selection squeaked out along with a whole lot of love for the Jay Cutler-infested Chicago Bears:
| – | Kiley Kmiec | Sean Wagner-McGough | Andrew Doughty | Ryan Wong | Michael Blair | Scott Sinnott | Brad Epstein |
| AFC North | Bengals | Bengals | Bengals | Bengals | Bengals | Bengals | Bengals |
| AFC South | Colts | Colts | Colts | Colts | Colts | Colts | Colts |
| AFC West | Broncos | Broncos | Broncos | Broncos | Broncos | Broncos | Broncos |
| AFC East | Patriots | Patriots | Patriots | Tom Brady | Patriots | Patriots | Dolphins |
| AFC Wild Card | Texans | Chargers | Dolphins | Steelers | Ravens | Chiefs | Chiefs |
| AFC Wild Card | Dolphins | Chiefs | Chiefs | Chiefs | Chiefs | Jets | Patriots |
| NFC North | Bears | Bears | Packers | Packers | Bears | Lions | Packers |
| NFC South | Falcons | Saints | Falcons | Saints | Saints | Saints | Saints |
| NFC West | Niners | Seahawks | Niners | Seahawks | Niners | Niners | Niners |
| NFC East | Cowboys | Eagles | Cowboys | Nobody | Cowboys | Eagles | Eagles |
| NFC Wild Card | Packers | Niners | Bears | Niners | Seahawks | Packers | Bears |
| NFC Wild Card | Saints | Packers | Seahawks | Falcons | Packers | Seahawks | Seahawks |
| AFC Champion | Broncos | Patriots | Bengals | Tom Brady | Colts | Broncos | Broncos |
| NFC Champion | Bears | Bears | Packers | Seahawks | Bears | Inconsequential | Niners |
| Super Bowl Champs | Bears | Bears | Packers | Tom Brady | Bears | Broncos | Broncos |
[genericon icon=twitter] Follow Andrew Doughty on Twitter @Adoughty88
Photos Courtesy: ESPN (Britt McHenry), Andrew Weber/USA Today Sports (Johnny Manziel), William Perlman/The Star-Ledger (Brandin Cooks), AP (Jay Cutler/Brandon Marshall)
