I am always looking at license plates, mostly the vanity and out-of-state ones—trying to figure out what the driver is trying to brand themselves as in 7 characters or less. SIDENOTE: If you have a vanity plate and I can’t figure out what you’re trying to convey in less than 5 seconds, you’ve failed.
The other day I was walking through a parking lot on my way to get my hair did when I caught an unusual looking plate in my peripheral vision. At first glance I couldn’t determine the plate’s state of origin. I bent down to inspect in greater detail when I realized this wasn’t a registered plate in any state at all. It was a Disneyland Autopia plate. Then I checked the registration tags, June 2000. I’m sure everyone would have a different reaction to this: “How cute!” “How lame.” “I want one.” You get the point. My reaction: “this is straight up illegal and whoever owns this car thinks they are above the law.” You might be wondering why I even give a shit about this. I choose not to display a front license plate on my car because it ruins a cars’ aesthetics. Not just my car, all cars. Every time, not most of the time, but every time I park in LA they put a nice little piece of paper on my windshield telling me I owe money for not having a front license plate (Beverly Hills you’re the worst). Now that I think about it, remember Skeezy’s post on the matter?
Back to my rant. I’m willing to bet that the owner of this car has never received a ticket for displaying an illegal front license plate. Why am I so sure? For one reason, I’m always right. But secondly, having a plate like this is a felony that carries a punishment of up to three years in jail! Don’t believe me? Go get educated on DMV 4463 False Evidences and Uses of Documents, Licenses, Devices, Placards, or Plates. Some of you UCLA people might know a thing or two what I’m talking about. Plus, Mr. or Mrs. Disney Humper has been successfully driving illegally for almost 11 years now. The meter maids only check to see if there is a plate on the front bumper. They’re too dimwitted to learn the actual laws that they are supposed to enforce. Even those who may have taken a second to inspect “Disney Lovers” plate ultimately fell into that group of people whose reaction is “how cute!” Which brings me to my next point. What do you call a male meter maid. Should they go by a different name? Absolutely not.
Hey DIZ-NEE driver, suck on DIZ-NUTS! Find below a picture of the letter I left on the owner’s windshield.
