Did Sports Illustrated writer Chris Burke finally solve one of the most intoxicating and polarizing mysteries in American history?

Definitely.

No need for an investigation … it is clear that after D.B. Cooper, the man who hijacked an airplane in the Pacific Northwest in 1971 and extorted $200,000 in ransom money, leapt from the Boeing 727, he traveled to Oakland and began running an NFL franchise.

Never mind the timeline and obvious historical discrepancies … it’s him:

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