eHarmony, Match, OKCupid, JDate, Christian Mingle, Farmers Only – okay, we get it – people are single and that sucks. But you know what makes it all suck a bit less? A little app called Tinder. You may have heard of it. Certainly every Olympian in Sochi was getting down on Grindr’s straight sibling – helloooooo, Jamie Anderson! Am I right, guys?
So, I thought it was high-time for my Tinder adventures to come to light. I have about a year’s worth of research under my belt and I guess you could call me an authority on the subject. I’m not ashamed. What started out as light-hearted bar game has become a ubiquitous ego boost for those who are at least mildly attractive. That being said, I’d like to take this moment to recognize this wondrous app and highlight those in the LA dating pool who have made a real life impact on me.
Meet me:
A 27-year old female. I live somewhere in the LA vicinity. And I have big hair, which I don’t really care about – and let me just say, what was meant to be a throwaway tagline (“Big hair, don’t care”) ended up becoming quite the conversation topic for some of these dudes.
And when I say “dudes” I mean “fine, gentleman suitors”, obviously. Like my personal favorite, Simon.
Well, Simon, thank you. I assume this is a proposition. I’m swooning. Really, I am.
Danny, what a gem. Started out just fine. Normal. And then BAM – sexual predator.
Me too, Yale. Is that your real name? Or did you go to Yale? Upsetting if you didn’t go to Yale, yet you were named after the famed Ivy League school. Although, if you DID go to Yale, well then that’s just a bit too predictable, isn’t it?
Thanks, Jeff. It doesn’t get any whiter than this.
#ifyouhavetomakethatdistinctionyouprobablyareacreeper #justsaying
Modern day Oregon Trail over here. I’m just going to say it, Seth. I don’t think this is going to work out between us.
I actually like this. Travis, give me a call.
Chris. What? Does this line work for you at the bars?
I could be wrong, but nothing about this makes sense. I’m just as much to blame as Tyler.
1. Wizards really intimidate me. 2. According to Wikipedia you died a long time ago. 3. You’re not fooling me. 4. But I’ll always wonder about what could have been.
Good ol’ Merlin concludes some of my favorites appropriate enough to post. Now, go find me, swipe right and let’s fall in love. OR email me with your best Tinder screenshots for a chance to be a part of my public fodder or at the very least for my personal amusement.
