Confession time: Mascots scare the shit out of me. The proportionally-off bodies, obscenely large heads and blank soulless eyes make most mascots the bane of my nightmares. At least clowns look human. I’m certain that Pierre the Pelican literally arose from the depths of hell to do the bidding of NJ Devil himself.
So, imagine my horror at seeing the MLB orchestrated monstrosity that was its mascot class photo. 26 sets of googly eyes staring straight through a camera lens and into the hearts of men’s souls. I’m pretty sure Rangers Captain is planning my untimely demise right now.
And when you gaze long into an abyss the abyss also gazes into you. – Friedrich Nietzsche
