Fans drive the financial success of sports, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t some really crappy fans out there. Fans despise fellow or opposing fans for a variety of reasons and oftentimes cannot put their finger on what actually drives them nuts. In an effort to better prepare you to identify terrible fans and allow you to make a coherent argument against those fans, we have created a thorough list of why sports fans suck:
Bandwagoners Ripping Bandwagoners
Bandwagon fans are a huge part of sports and although an entire website could be devoted to mocking these fans, it’s pointless because most of them are oblivious (or in denial) of their fair-weatherness. This section is three-fold and dedicated to the worst of the worst bandwagoners.
Not only are these fans bandwagoners, but they do not realize it AND they rip other bandwagoners. This could be a Tampa Bay Rays fan that attends zero regular season games, shows up for the postseason and blasts all the folks that only show up for the postseason. Or a Royals fan that didn’t know Kansas City had a baseball team until last October laying into Royals fans that didn’t know Kansas City had a baseball team until last October.
Convenient Memory Loss
This item could also be called the Alex Rodriguez, Adrian Peterson and Ryan Braun Rule. Upon learning of A-Rod’s second run-in with performance-enhancing drugs, thousands of Yankees fans screamed for his head and wished to never see him in pinstripes again. The reactions were similar for AP and Braun after their child abuse and PED incident, respectively.
However, fans conveniently forget their disassociation calls upon realizing what the player can do for their team. Just months after having an all-time low approval rating in the Bronx, the cheers have never been greater for one of baseball’s most infamous cheaters.
Living Room GMs
Fans joke that they could do a better job than general managers in assembling a team and while an innocent joke never hurts, some fans actually think they could do a better job. To suggest that you know about the intricacies of contracts and hundreds of delicate roster stipulations is hilarious. It’s a safe bet than a negligible amount of the fan population understands every league rule and talent evaluation method.
Roster management is more than simply pulling the trigger on Kevin Durant over Greg Oden in the 2007 NBA Draft or not trading John Smoltz for a soon-to-be retired relief pitcher in 1987.
Predictions & Fantasy Sports
Every fan makes predictions and just about every fan has at least one fantasy sports team, but how many predictions and fantasy teams do you care about? Just yours.
Also, no one, including players themselves, care about your fantasy team. Jamaal Charles does not care that you need 25 points from him on Monday night to win this week, nor does Sebastian Janikowski care that his missed field goal cost your $200. I care about my fantasy teams and my NCAA Tournament bracket. No one else does.
This one is simple: PUT THE PHONE DOWN!
You don’t need video of every play. Television cameras can handle that for you. Maybe take a brief video of pregame festivities, player introductions or even a couple plays but then put the damn phone down and enjoy the moment. How many Patriots fans in Glendale watched Malcolm Butler’s Super Bowl-winning interception through their 4-inch iPhone screen instead of live?
The majority of sports fans are not smart. And no, that’s not too harsh. Each item on this list technically falls under the “Uneducated” category but this one is the most obnoxious. In October 2013, San Francisco 49ers safety Donte Whitner was fined $21,000 for a hit on St. Louis Rams receiver Chris Givens. Upon the league announcing the fine, fan uproar dominated social media.
“HOW DARE ROGER GOODELL FINE HIM!”
Well…Roger Goodell is not fining him. The league is fining him a predetermined amount of money, an amount agreed upon by both the league AND the players union.
You are entitled to nothing when you decide to be a fan of a certain team. Please pay $340 for front row seats, drop $200 at the team store or spend $17 on a beer, but you get no competition-related guarantee in return. You are not guaranteed a win, record-setting performance or even an entertaining game. That’s not how sports work.
Financial Entitlement (Part 2)
Part 2 only applies to college athletics, specifically fundraising. Although college sports run on the generosity of donors, any monetary donation does not entitle you to a 10-win season, input on the head coaching hiring process or a voice in scheduling elite competition. The school, athletic department and sports program are eternally grateful for the donation but you do not own a piece of the program, nor does it buy you any rights beyond those agreed upon.
Fans have difficultly comprehending player movement. Athletes are human beings with real wants, needs, feelings and emotions. It would be ideal if every productive athlete played his entire career with one franchise, took numerous pay cuts and became a huge part of the community. But, what if they don’t want to play in Cincinnati? Or they don’t enjoy living in Green Bay, Sacramento, Detroit or Orlando? They don’t owe anything to the city or fans.
Loyalty, or at least a genuine awareness and appreciation for their home market would be nice but fans become hostile when a player leaves or even mentions the possibility of leaving their city. Ninety-nine percent of players had no association with a particular franchise or city before getting drafted or signed. Playing in Minnesota might mean nothing for someone with west coast roots.
Find me an Oakland Athletics fan that wasn’t running the streets naked after their stunning haul before the 2014 trade deadline. Good luck.
Now, find one of those giddy fans that isn’t questioning those moves and wondering how far that might’ve set back the franchise in returning to the World Series. That might be an easier task.
Fans love, love, love screaming for roster moves and draft selections, but conveniently forget their earlier calls when things didn’t pan out. Another perfect example: Johnny Manziel to the Browns.
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