Clark the Cub.
Yes, this is what the marketing team of a professional baseball team could come up with after countless hours of work and research. If Clark is the key organizational move to champion in a new era of Cubs baseball, they could have done better. Especially in the eyes, which, if you look closely, have that “seen the evils of war” look. Go ahead, take a gander.
As expected, keyboard pundits on twitter and beyond, spanning far and wide, weighed in on Clark the Cub. Here are some of the best tweets, photos, and GIFs currently picking apart this unbearable fiasco.
Where are Cubs priorities? They have a new mascot named Clark the Cub. Hopefully he can give them 200 innings this season.
— Thomas Ballinger (@BaseballThomasB) January 13, 2014
Cubs could’ve named their new mascot Darwin Bearney, but NOOOO. That’s why you haven’t won in 106 years, jerks. — Jonah Keri (@jonahkeri) January 13, 2014
This is the Cubs’ first-ever mascot. Look at the eyes and enter a spiral of despair. pic.twitter.com/iz70wQW7Lv — Matt Ufford (@mattufford) January 13, 2014
And, in an effort to drive away all remaining fans, The @Cubs introduced their new mascot today Clark the Cub. #Cubs pic.twitter.com/vK6A719i33 — Billy Krumb (@ClubhouseCancer) January 13, 2014
I feel like the Cubs mascot wants to talk to me about how drugs are bad more than cheer on a baseball team. — Shaun the tweeter (@jshaunAU2006) January 13, 2014
That Cubs mascot is terrible. They ripped off the Bear from Tailspin, got him high & forced a Cubs jersey on him pic.twitter.com/RiRPAe4pFe — Ivan Calderon (@chicorican) January 13, 2014
The new mascot, Cubs officials said, was designed to help comfort fans at the end of disappointing seasons —http://t.co/i0Uv6f7Gwe #kidding — Nolan Hicks (@ndhapple) January 13, 2014
Cubs acquiring a mascot is better than the bears getting cutler for another 7 years
— Shylbin bruhhh (@Shylbin_B) January 13, 2014
Is it me or does the #Cubs new mascot look like the son of the Pedobear?
— Ryan Trott (@rtrott87) January 13, 2014
Pedo bear is the new cubs mascot? — Thile AuGustus X. (@Thile) January 13, 2014
The Cubs new mascot has the sad eyes of an apologetic Steve Bartman. — Handsome Rick (@RickMuscles) January 13, 2014
Clark the Cub looks awfully happy to be representing more than a century of sadness. — Elise Lotz (@EliseMichelle) January 13, 2014
Ummm. Mascot? I want to die again. #Cubs
— Harry Caray’s Ghost (@GhostHarryCaray) January 13, 2014
until that bear throws up in an alley and punches some guy outside a jewel i won’t believe it’s a real cubs mascot
— martin rickman (@martinrickman) January 13, 2014
And lastly, a tweet from Clark, himself. It’s just as awful as you’d expect it to be.
Still figryuing out how 2 tyype with these big pawz. Will gett lessons from @Cubs. Come back soon!!
— Clark the Cub (@ClarktheCub) January 13, 2014
