Following in the footsteps of colleague (and fellow former NBA Countdown deskmate Michael Wilbon), we have Jalen “Champagne & Campaign” Rose’s entry for “Impossibly Wrong NBA Pundit Prediction of the Year”. In a teaser for the Charlotte Bobcats’ video season preview (talk about things that move the needle!) on Grantland, Jalen “stuns” a wide-eyed Bill Simmons with the prediction that Michael Jordan will suit up for one game this upcoming season.
First of all, congratulations to Jalen for making a prediction just absurd enough that we’re talking about it. Second, if you’re going to make crazy predictions, at least make it somewhat possible. Example: Wilbon’s prediction that the Los Angeles Lakers will finish sixth or higher in the Western Conference could totally happen, as long as no fewer than six to eight other teams’ entire starting lineups join leper colonies. Unfortunately for Mr. Rose, it is literally impossible for Michael Jordan to play in an NBA game this season, because of that silly little rule stating (in layman’s terms) that owners can’t also be active players.
Of course, Jordan could sell his entire stake in the LOLBobcats (obviously to Chris Hansen, who would promptly move the team to Seattle, rename them the Sonics, and trot out a 50-something-year-old Jordan on opening night, just because), but that would require approval from the Board of Governors, a process that can take for-e-ver. Another option is the implausible restructuring of the ownership group into a publicly traded company, but seeking all the approvals needed wouldn’t be worth it to play just one game — even if it would be the highest-rated game in NBA history.
Let’s hope the rest of Bill and Jalen’s 87-part NBA preview series is devoid of more such gobbledygook.
About John Ferensen