Twitter was on fire last night with “Sad Children Stories” which never made it off of the cutting room floor. I decided to gather a few of the titles for your viewing pleasure. There is a possibility that I added a few of Cosby Sweater’s own original books. Feel free to comment below with more!
- FDR and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day… When He Got Polio
- The JUNGLE Fever Book
- The Littlest Crack Whore
- The Concrete Jungle Book
- Mr. Magorium’s Rape Whistle Emporium
- Charlotte’s Web of Lies
- Clifford the Big Red Dog the Final Chapter: Euthanasia
- How to Chase your Dragon (Heroin)
- Oh The Places You’ll Go..To Hell..To Prison
- Jack and the Bean Stalker
- Oh, The Places You’ll Never Get To Go, Because You’ll Be Living Your Life Paycheck to Paycheck
- Horton Kills the Who
- James and the Giant Penis
- Snow White and the Seventh Divorce
- Pedo Pan
- James and the Giant Tumor
- Everybody poops when they die
- “The Pokey Little Puppy and the Really Fast Car”
- Winnie the Pimp
- Dr. Seuss’ The Cat in the Microwave
- The STD giving tree
- Goldilocks and the three bears who are potentially her father
- The Cat in the Hat Has Feline AIDS
- Dr. Seuss’ Hop on Pop. (I didn’t even change that title)
- Sarah, Large and Diabetic
- Babar the Elephant and the Ivory Hunters
- The Giving Tree, Is Giving HIV
- The Bipolar Express
- Mommy Drinks Because You Cry
- “Wayside School Is Closing Down…because of lack of funding”
- The Tale of Peter Rabbit’s Foot
- No Virginia There is NO Santa Claus
- Princess and The Peeping Tom
- The Brave Little Toaster Goes to the Bathtub
- Harry Potter and The Sorcerer’s Lap
- Ali Baba and the 72 Virgins
- All Dogs Go To the Incinerator
- Harry Potter and the Whiskey, Revolver, and Suicide Note
- Little Women by Ben Roethlisberger
- Mary Poppin Pills
- Ramona; has lupus
- Bi-Curious George
- The Lion, Christine O’Donnell, and the wardrobe
- Clifford the Big Black Inmate
- The Littlest Prostitute
- Nobody Poops but You
- The Bernstein Bears And The Taxidermist
- The Little Nigerian Prince – (“Draw me a check!” )
- Are You There God? It’s Me, Nietzsche
- The Emperor’s New Leather Clothes
- Bambi
- Dead Yeller
- The Velveteen Rabbit Stew
- Jumping Off The Bridge to Terabithia
- Amelia Bedilia Get’s Fired For Getting Every Single Instruction Wrong
- Tom Sawher
- “Why Puppies Don’t Go To Heaven” by Kirk Cameron
- The very hungry caterpillar gets bulimia
- You Were an Accident
- Mother Goose Is Cooked
About Chris Partlow