I have never eaten a Crayon. However, I have smelled one or two Crayons in my day and they certainly don’t smell like they’d taste very good (Indeed, they smell like candle wax mixed with dirt and childhood tears).
So, it is perversely admirable to watch Ravens fan Ryan Blake down Ravens’ color-themed crayons to honor a really bad bet (that the Ravens would beat the Cardinals this past Monday) that he made to himself.
And since the Ravens are off to a horrible 1-6 start, Blake took the time to bravely eat six children’s doodling tools.
Granted, Ryan did try to make the half dozen Crayons go down easier by adding some condiments to his meal. He tried caramel, chocolate, Old Bay Seasoning (which seemed to drown out the taste of waxiness the best), cinnamon, spicy mustard and steak seasoning but SURPRISINGLY, there wasn’t much that paired well with the taste of Crayon.
As grotesque as it is to watch a man willingly torture his taste buds for no reason whatsoever, Ryan’s summation of his experience makes the watch worth it:
“I tried. Six Crayons. Being a Ravens fan is literally the worst decision I ever made. Except, you know, when we won the Super Bowl a few years ago. Ugh, 1-6.”
About Ryan Wong