You’ve heard of the Turducken (turkey-duck-chicken), the most famous of the poultry-within-poultry holiday delicacies. But have you heard of the Cthurkey? No? Well, let’s get you up to speed. We’ll start with the turkey part, then add a giant-ass crab, an octopus, and then some bacon (because bacon makes everything great — even monstrosities that look like a face-hugger from Alien).
This delicacy seems like something that rose up from the bowels of Hell, but in reality, it’s what happens when people want to add a unique twist to a holiday meal. Or in this case, one person, Rusty Eulberg, whose wife happens to be a big fan of Cthulhu (Cthulhu has fans?). Eulberg first created the monstrosity two years ago, and has been tweaking it ever since:
“Jenny is a big fan of Cthulhu so we went and bought some crab legs and some octopus and bacon and cooked them all separate and slapped them together on a plate, and that was it. The next year I made a Cthicken; the same thing using squid instead of octopus and a chicken.”
So, how do you cook and serve this monstrosity?
“…each individual piece was cooked separately; all I did was set them together on the plate. It was delicious. The crab leg was awesome and the bacon added a nice flavor to the turkey. And for added horror, the serving platter is an old Nazi plate with a Swastika on the bottom that a friend bought in an old abandoned Luftwaffe base in Germany.”
Because nothing screams “Merry Christmas!” more than carving a dish inspired by a freaky-ass underwater demon, resting on a Nazi plate.


About John Ferensen
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