Bartolo Colon doubled.

No, no. He didn’t double in size, although he’s getting pretty close. He hit an actual double.

In today’s Cards-Mets game, Colon ripped (not exaggerating!) a Lance Lynn heater into the left field corner, and, in what must have felt like a marathon with a piano strapped to his sweaty back, rumbled 180 feet to second base.

Behold the glory.

This is a finish-your-drink-type occasion if there ever was one. Colon, a .082 hitter over his 17 year career, was hitless since 2005 and had never recorded an extra base hit. When he crossed the plate later that inning, it was just the second run scored of his career. I could throw an infinite number of statistics at you to illustrate the improbability of his double, but nothing would illustrate it as obviously as the following .GIF and accompanying image of a swing taken by Colon earlier this season. (NOTE: “swing” is probably being generous)

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Don’t you just feel more athletic looking at that picture?

From a complete baseball playing standpoint, today was probably the best day of Colon’s career. Not only did he make contact with the ball and run farther than the presumably has in years, he twirled 8 inning of 1-run ball and improved to 7-5 on the year, while lowering his ERA and WHIP to 3.88 and 1.20, respectively.

As far as my baseball research tells me, 41-year-old Bartolo Colon is the oldest player to record his first extra base hit. I had a hunch Satchel Paige would be the answer to that trivia questions, but he never did better than a single. All the more reason to celebrate Colon’s 2-bagger, right?

Follow Sean on Twitter @the_graw