We’re not even going to attempt to beat around the bush here: Monday Night Football was pretty much unwatchable. The Seattle Seahawks entered the game with an offensive line that is one more injury away from FEMA assistance. Meanwhile, the St. Louis Rams, knowing this, teed off on Russell Wilson to the tune of seven sacks, and approximately 364 hurries/knockdowns/throwaways. After one of those sacks, Chris Long did his best Ric Flair impression:
But Long’s sack dance wasn’t even close to the most egregious celebration of the night. That honor belongs to Golden Tate, aka Golden Taunt, who provided literally the only play worth showing on ESPN’s post-game coverage: an 80-yard touchdown pass, punctuated by an act of taunting that, of course, sent Twitter into a tizzy of feigned outrage (it should be noted that, in the pantheon of high-profile incidents involving Golden Tate, this latest move ranks somewhere below the “Fail Mary” and that one time his drunk ass broke into a doughnut shop — Top Pot is delicious though):
However, in a sad turn of events, Rams rookie wide receiver Tavon Austin was taken out by a sniper early in the fourth quarter. No word yet on his condition, but we hope he makes a full recovery:
The game ended rather unceremoniously — if not appropriately — on a fourth-and-one duck tossed by Sam Bradford’s replacement, Kellen Clemens, which had no chance of finding its intended target:
[.Gifs via @gifdsports, Gifulmation]
About John Ferensen