Oh jeeze, not again. Remember when Brett Favre retired? Or the time Brett Favre retired again? What about that other time he retired?
Brace yourselves, folks, we may be in for a brand new season of The Favre and the Restless. The soon-to-be 44-year old indecisive superstar quarterback has evidently been keeping in great shape since his most recent NFL withdrawal.
“I saw him the other day. He’s in the best shape I’ve ever seen him in, physically” says his agent, Bus Cook.
Though Cook has downplayed the rumors that Favre will return to the NFL as the league’s first grandfather, he has been keen to comment on number 4’s physique in a similar fashion to Stephenie Meyer’s description of Edward Cullen.
“His arms look like a blacksmith’s arms. He rides a bike probably 30-50 miles a day. He runs four or five miles a day. He’s coaching at the high school and they’re undefeated. He loves it. His body fat is 7.5 percent and he weighs 225 pounds. He could play today, better than a lot of them out there today.”
Well alright. Now we know Brett Favre is in the best shape of his life. At 44. Better than, say, 10 or 15 years ago. If you say so.
So where would he play? All signs point to Jacksonville, home of a Jaguars team that’s shaping up to be the worst team in NFL history.
If Favre went to Jacksonville, he certainly wouldn’t need to be in the best shape of his life to give Blaine Gabbert a run for his money. Hell, a cough syrup sipping JaMarcus Russell and a drunk Ken Dorsey could probably run the Jags offense better than Gabbert.
Let’s not forget, though: this is all speculation. The Jaguars still have three to four games of Tim Tebow to go through before they begin seriously considering Brett Favre.
About Ramin Rezvani