Of all the punishments we know of for finishing last in a fantasy football league, we appear to have found the most inhumane (in terms of punishments not involving physical harm and/or public humiliation, that is): re-taking the SAT. That’s what a league of eight attorneys and engineers in Ohio requires of its members, as a way of keeping hopelessly defeated non-playoff team owners interested to the bitter end:
The punishment is cruel, unusual and completely legal. Non-high-school students are permitted to sit for the SAT so long as they register in advance, present a government-issued ID at the test site and pay $51, a College Board spokeswoman said. The organization’s name for these people is “adult test-takers.”
Mr. Bean’s opponent in the anti-championship between Dec. 22 and Dec. 29 was Steven Corey —and he didn’t want to lose, either. Mr. Corey, a 23-year-old recent college graduate, had already endured the humiliation.
As the league’s bottom-dweller last season, the first that the loser was fated to sign up for the SAT, Mr. Corey took the test, scoring in the 1,500s out of the SAT’s 2,400-point scale. This season, he named his team “SAT Prep v. II for sale,” a nod to the SAT study guide he intended to offload on the next last-place finisher.
I shudder just thinking what I’d score on the math portion alone. I probably wouldn’t get three answers correct.