College basketball coaches are far from composed, patient and quiet individuals but because of the nature of their profession, they must remain in such a state in order to guarantee long-term stability in a profession that has very little of it.

Following Duke’s win on Monday evening, diehard college hoops fans have seven long months ahead of them before the 2015-16 season kicks off, leaving them searching for pointless debates and reliving the glory days of when your team was actually good. And speaking of pointless, who actually cares about the final AP Rankings of the season? The season is over. The Blue Devils are natty champs and the poll is even more meaningless than it was before, if that’s possible.

In the last Re-Rankings of the 2014-15 season, we have ranked all the final USA Today Coaches Top 25 (because the AP does not release a postseason poll) schools in order of how their head coach would fare in a brutally unforgiving bar fight. Coaches were ranked based upon age, health, intimidation presence, physical build and intangibles, with particular attention paid toward pure grit and power.