Nov 28, 2013; Baltimore, MD, USA; Baltimore Ravens kicker Justin Tucker (9) and wide receiver Jacoby Jones (12) reach for pieces of a turkey after beating the Pittsburgh Steelers 22-20 during a NFL football game on Thanksgiving at M&T Bank Stadium. Mandatory Credit: Evan Habeeb-USA TODAY Sports
ArticlesFeaturedFoodPop CultureBy Jessica Kleinschmidt on

Hope you have your stretchy pants on because it’s Thanksgiving for those who observe.

Ahh, yes, the tradition of stuffing your face and awkward conversations with family members who don’t share the same political views. There’s nothing like it. And at the center of it all is the food you consume. Some are great; some you avoid at all costs.

I decided to rank these from best to worst and to be honest, I might be the worst person to do it. My biggest “hot take” is that Thanksgiving food is mediocre, so take with that what you will.

Here we go!

Mashed Potatoes

Well, any form of potato is great. There’s something special about that creaminess mixed with the lumps of potato that is just *chef’s kiss* perfection.

 

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It’s also the most versatile dish as far as pairings go. A little mashed potato with some turkey, gravy — anything. Just too good.

Mac ‘N Cheese

There might be a competition to see who can make the best mac-n-cheese, and I will happily be the judge. I am willing to do that for you.

It’s also an extra bonus to put breadcrumbs on top or make the cheese extra crispy after broiling it. Also a tip: pasta shape selection is very important. Don’t take that lightly. That could make or break it.

Gravy


Heaven might be in the form of me in a sailboat on a mountain of mashed potatoes and gravy. Especially the gravy that uses the turkey drippings.

Rolls

This is an important decision and can be an overwhelming one.

You obviously want a warm roll, and adding butter on it is a game-changer. However, you have to remind yourself they’re not going to stay warm forever. Find the roll that is resilient and can adjust. Make sure you keep in mind that you’ll eventually turn leftovers into a turkey sandwich, so the rolls have to be good enough for those.

Basically, Hawaiian rolls win every single time.

Stuffing (vs. Dressing)


Stuffing (or dressing if you didn’t mutilate a bird in the process) is so versatile. I love stuffing because if it’s Stove Top or a homemade family recipe, it still works. It’s the secret ingredient on those post-Thanksgiving sandwiches as well.

Sweet Potato casserole

Sweet potatoes and marshmallows. Bonus tip: Add brown sugar. You’re welcome.

Turkey

I realize this is the main character in the entire spread, but I will be the first to say that I have yet to have a phenomenal turkey. Someone make me a turkey that I can brag about. Something Instagram-worthy that doesn’t require a filter.

Thanksgiving
Nov 23, 2023; Detroit, Michigan, USA; A young Detroit Lions fans holds up his sign in the second quarter against the Green Bay Packers during the annual Thanksgiving Day game at Ford Field. Mandatory Credit: David Reginek-USA TODAY Sports

I’ve seen people fry a turkey. I’ve seen people also attempt to fry a turkey. TEACH ME YOUR ways.

Green bean casserole

This is fine. I think it needs to be a part of the dinner to check off the box.

Cranberry sauce

Those who get it, get it. I don’t get it, but I really respect the people who are obsessed with cranberry sauce. Also, correct me if I’m wrong, but the consensus sounds like people prefer canned cranberry over fresh?

Ham


I hate ham, so …

Desserts

Pumpkin Pie

Yes, yes, yes. However, this is important when it comes to the whipped cream ratio. I don’t want to see any pumpkin pie with that huge dollop of whipped cream. And while the spray kind is more fun to use, the Cool Whip with all of its chemicals just hits better.

Pecan Pie


Perfection. No notes. Thank you for being born, pecan pie.

Apple Pie 


Yes, but, A la Mode or nothing get out of here.

About Jessica Kleinschmidt

Jess is a baseball fan with Reno, Nev. roots residing in the Bay Area. She is the host of "Short and to the Point" and is also a broadcaster with the Oakland A's Radio Network. She previously worked for MLB.com and NBC Sports Bay Area.

View all posts by Jessica Kleinschmidt