The “Ummm, Guys? How Are We Not Beating These Clowns By 20?” Performances

Congratulations, Cleveland, Portland and Golden State on squeaking out narrow wins over inferior opponents. Wait, what’s that? Cleveland is only a half-game better than the Bucks in the East right now??? Surely you jest? *checks standings* Holy crap! The Cavs — currently on Game #16 of their “don’t worry, we’re putting it all together” mission — have LeBron James, Kyrie Irving and Kevin Love. The Bucks have the Greek Freak, Larry Sanders (the non-nightclub fighting version), Brandon Knight (who, despite the blooper reel, is having a good season), and Jabari Parker, who broke the 20-point barrier for the second time this season.

The Portland Trailblazers, who now must be wary of every box score coming out of Oklahoma City, bumped their Northwest Division lead by a game over the healthy Thunder by beating the suddenly frisky Denver Nuggets, 105-103. I don’t have much to report other than that LaMarcus Aldridge scored 38 points, and this is a must-watch division race now, if only to see how many wins OKC can rattle off now that Westbrook and Durant are healthy.

Meanwhile, in Oakland, would you believe me if I told you that Stephen Curry was 0-for-7 lifetime on go-ahead three-point attempts in the final minute of an NBA game? Sounds kind of insane, right? Well, he broke the o-fer streak last night, eschewing a timeout (much to the relief of head coach Steve Kerr) for a pull-up dagger with 2.2 seconds to play and a 98-97 win over the Orlando Magic.

It was a closer game than most people anticipated, but the final result gives the Warriors a ten-game winning streak (one less than the franchise record, set in 1971-71), and extends their franchise-best start to 15-2.