NFL

Rabbit Punches Week 11: Tornadoes Threaten NFL and Rabbit Punches

A Rabbit Punch has two meanings, both of which describe the nature of the article. 1. A series of fast punches. 2. An illegal punch to the back of the head between the skull and the first vertebrate that can cause permanent damage to the nerves or death.

Bears 23- Ravens 20 (OT)

The big story from this game was the natural disaster that delayed it for nearly two hours, and no, the natural disaster I am talking about is not the fact that the NFC North started Josh McCown, Scott Tolzien, and Christian Ponder at quarterback this week. Tornadoes touched down in the suburbs of Chicago and were on track to hit the heart of the city before the storm shifted south. The game was delayed and the stadium cleared as Illinois residents were instructed to go to the lowest level of their house and cover their heads with books or ideally a helmet. Luckily for me I am a football blogger and not a fashion blogger, so I was prepared to ride out the storm.1384713024223

Bills 37- Jets 14

Geno Smith got rattled by a big hit early in this game and never recovered accounting for four turnovers, three interceptions and a lost fumble. The silver lining of this game is that if Jets continue to play as inconsistently as they have this season, next game we can expect Geno Smith to throw for 300 yards, four touchdowns, and single-handedly rebuild the Philippines (All joking aside please give what you can).

Giants 27- Packer 13

The Packers struggled as you might assume without Aaron Rodgers. Scott Tolzien played in his second NFL game but he could not keep the Giants from their fourth straight victory. Jason Pierre-Paul made a spectacular interception and returned it for a touchdown to seal the game for the Giants on a play he apparently predicted to his teammates beforehand. In a TV timeout, Pierre-Paul told his teammates he was going pick off the pass and score. This may seem like an amazing prediction but in all fairness, Tolzien threw interceptions on 9% of his pass attempts.

Raiders 28- Texans 23

The Raiders left Houston with a win over the reeling Texans. The Texans have lost eight games in a row, their worst streak in franchise history, this loss coming against an undrafted rookie quarterback. Matt McGloin threw for 197 yards, three touchdowns, and zero interception in his rookie debut for the Raiders filling in for the injured Terrelle Pryor. Given the scandal at his alma mater Penn St. McGloin is one letter switch (L to an R) away from the most unfortunate name in football since Pat McCrotch left the  1971 Super Bowl with a pulled groin.

Colts 30- Titans 27

The Indianapolis Colts pulled off yet another come from behind win against the Titans after trailing by 14 points early on Thursday night. The Colts have trailed after the first quarter in six games this year showing that Andrew Luck, like Kerri Strugg, the 2004 Boston Red Sox, and the 1996 Tune Squad from Space Jam, understands that you cannot be known for making the greatest comebacks ever unless you are down big first.

Seahwaks 41- Vikings 20

The Seahawks dispensed of the Vikings on their way to a franchise record 13th straight home victory. Percy Harvin made his debut for the Seahawks after missing the first ten weeks of the season recovering from hip surgery. Pete Carroll could not help himself letting Harvin return a kickoff late in the second half that went for 58 yards and set up a touchdown. Harvin made two very impressive plays against his former team, that would have been far more impressive against any team but his former team.

Dolphins 20- Chargers 16

Winning cures all wounds , and the Dolphins needed a lot of healing after a tumultuous week of locker room scandals. The Dolphins celebrated after Philip Rivers’ final hail Mary hit the ground, but the celebration was muted in the locker room as each player found themselves second guessing each aggressive but congratulatory butt slap, as to not be labeled as a bully.