Rob Gronkowski took some time out of a busy summer of book writing, singing and promoting his very own party cruise to shill a bit for BodyArmor sports drinks.

Ostensibly set in a time where VCRs and Zubaz pants were alive and well, Gronk stars as “Gronkasaurus,” a man “with the guns that scare even children that can’t even (quick pause while he searches for words to finish his thought) SEE PROPERLY. YEAH BABY!!!”

Ironically, this fully edited and approved video is somehow less smooth than the impromptu wrestling hype video that Gronk made with Mojo Rawley back in April.

[For the Win]