The response from the New England Patriots to “Deflate-Gate,” the investigation into whether the New England were using deflated footballs during the AFC Championship Game, has been nearly identical. For the most part, the Patriots are saying that they know nothing about it, find the whole thing to be “ridiculous,” and that they’ll cooperate fully with the NFL investigation.

Only one Patriot offered a plausible explanation for why the Patriots’ footballs might be deflated.

By golly, I think we’ve solved “Deflate-gate.” All things lead back to Gronk spikes.

[For the Win]