Misc, NFL

Rabbit Punches Week 5: Manning’s Rushing TD as Rare as Kenny Powers Home Run

A Rabbit Punch has two meanings, both of which describe the nature of the article. 1. A series of fast punches. 2. An illegal punch to the back of the head between the skull and the first vertebrate that can cause permanent damage to the nerves or death.

Browns 37- Bills 24

This was the Thursday night game that everyone circled on their calendar. This marquee match up featured two struggling teams that have shown life as of late. This game also featured two starting quarterbacks get hurt. Brian Hoyer, the native of Cleveland, made one crucial mistake, he gave Cleveland fans hope, which any true Cleveland fan knows is a death sentence for your ACL.

Broncos 51- Cowboys 48

The average football fan will look at this game and see the offense. They will see that Tony Romo threw for over 500 yards for the first time in Cowboys history, and that Peyton Manning continued his remarkable pace with four more touchdown passes making 20 on the season, a record through 5 games. However, the real stories from this game came from the defensive side. The Cowboys were able to pick off Manning for the first time this season, but the defense allowed the most points in a game since 2004. The defense was so bad that Peyton Manning even had a rushing touchdown which is about as rare as a Kenny Powers home run.

Cardinals 22- Panthers 6

An ugly game ends with the Cardinals getting back on track and the Panther got a little further away. Cam Newton got a lesson from his distant cousin Isaac as the Panthers came back to earth losing to the Cardinals after beating the Giants 38-0. Newton was sacked seven times, threw three interceptions and lost one fumble. Newton will have a hard time forgetting this afternoon, at least for now until he turns 40 and those hits catch up with his long term memory.

Eagles 36- Giants 21

The Giants start their season 0-5 for the first time since the Iran-Contra Affair. The Eagles back up quarter back  Nick Foles finished the game strong leading the team on two fourth quarter scoring drives. Foles filled in for Michael Vick who injured his hamstring. Vick is dealing with an injury for the first time in his career since, I made an Iran-Contra Affair reference.

Ravens 26- Dolphins 23

The Ravens made strides on both sides of the ball. The running game preformed up to its potential for the first time this year and Joe Flacco bounced back from a terrible game last week. The Ravens defense showed glimpses of their old glory recording six sacks one of which came in the final moments of the game keeping the Dolphins from sending the game to overtime. The Ravens defense was able to create pressure all day, a skill that they had only previously felt this season in the local paper.

Rams 34- Jaguars 20

Sam Bradford threw three touchdown passes on the way ending a three game losing streak for the St. Louis Rams. After the game the Rams were happy to see their season heading back in the right direction even though ending a losing streak by beating the Jaguars is like ending a dry spell at a college Halloween party, it is pretty much expected.