Let’s face it, the era of great sports nicknames is over. But that’s not stopping the NBA from allowing its players to don nickname-emblazoned jerseys — for one game, at least. News broke this afternoon of the league notifying the Brooklyn Nets and Miami Heat that they may be allowed to play one of their four matchups this season in the nickname alternates.
This means instead of Wade, James, Garnett, Pierce and Allen, we will see “(whatever Wade is calling himself these days)”, “King James”, “KG”, “The Truth”, and, the last great nickname, “Shuttlesworth”. The nicknames won’t be limited to just the stars, as role players will get to choose their own as well. Shane Battier wanted to put “Batman” on his, but Warner Brothers owns the copyright, so he’ll go with “Shaneo” (what was that about the death of great nicknames?). Also, until Chris Bosh confirms he’ll have either “Velociraptor” or “Bostrich” stitched on the back, we’re not going to be entirely on board with this.