Misc, NFL

Rabbit Punches: Mia WR Wallace 15 yrd most expensive real estate in FL

A Rabbit Punch has two meanings, both of which describe the nature of the article. 1. A series of fast punches. 2. An illegal punch to the back of the head between the skull and the first vertebrate that can cause permanent damage to the nerves or death.

49ers 34- Packers 28

No one has ever had as much fun in Green Bay, Wisconsin without clogging his arteries with sausage and cheese curds as Colin Kaepernick. Kaepernick’s success throwing from the pocket was the most disturbing thing for Packer fans to witness since Joe Buck over reacted to what amounted to Randy Moss doing a Marcel Marceau impression. Either Kaepernick is for real or the problems on defense for the Packers are for real.

Dolphin 23- Browns 10

Ryan Tannehill played well to led the Miami Dolphins past the Cleveland Browns without great production from new accusation Mike Wallace or projected starter Lamar Miller. Miller rushed for three yards on ten carries and Wallace who is making $750,000 per game caught one ball for fifteen yards. After Wallace gets paid for this weeks game, the fifteen yards he covered will be the most valuable piece of real estate in Florida.

Saints 23- Falcons 17

In a clash between two NFC South Titans, Drew Brees the New Orleans Saints out dueled Matt Ryan and Atlanta Falcons. Sean Payton return to work on the New Orleans sideline after the bounty scandal cost him the 2012 season. It must have been a great feeling for Payton to get back to work,  because if you have ever been out of work you know how great the first pay check feels. He elected to kick off sending his defense on the field first breaking the tendency to start the game with his offense. These paychecks must have been burning a hole in Payton’s pocket to send his defense out first.

Lions 34- Vikings 24

Adrian Peterson broke off a 78 yard touchdown run on his first run of the season but it was Reggie Bush for the Detroit Lions who stole the show and looked like he was on his way to breaking Eric Dickerson’s single season rushing record. However, at the end of the day Bush and Peterson own the same number of single season rushing records, have the same of Super Bowl wins, and have the same number of Heisman trophies, zero.

Jets 18- Buccaneers 17

Not unless you model you life after Entourage , wear Affliction t-shirts, and go out on the weekend looking for a fight has being blatantly pushed ever felt as good as it did for Gino Smith on Sunday. Smith drew a personal foul penalty that essentially won him his first NFL start. If the measure of a good quarterback is how much the opposing team is willing to risk to hit him illegally, the Jets could have a stud on their hands.

Colts 21- Raiders 17

If you asked me last season which of Andrew Luck for the Indianapolis Colts or Terrelle Pryor  for the Oakland Raiders would be more likely to win the opener with his feet, I would have responded, “Whoa, gonna suck to be an Oakland fan in 2013.” Then I would say that if you think Luck cannot run, then you are taking the Peyton Manning comparisons far too literally.


Patriots 23- Bills 21

The Buffalo Bills and the New England Patriots rivalry can only be compared to the older of two brothers beating up on a the younger. The Bills are 1-19 in their last 20 meeting with the Patriots, but EJ Manuel looked effective for the Bills and almost pulled of an upset in his first game as a rookie for the younger brothers. However, even through distractions off the field and a depleted receiving core, the older brother ended the game as they usually do, a Stephen Gostkowski  purple nurple.