With college football season starting tonight, it is time to make all of your final preparations. This includes getting ready for all the stupid things that will be said to you by fans of the opposing team after your team is done embarrassing them over 3 and half hours.

Or, if you are anything like me (a fan of UCF – a team with a historic habit of losing every big game it participates in), these are the things that will be said by fans of our teams after the other guys are done bashing our fucking brains in thus ending all of the preseason hype we bought into over the last 7 months.

In no particular order…

You pay your players!!!

pay your players

Fans of ‘little guy’ schools love this one. Forget all the past success and commitments to football that your school does that mine doesn’t because at the end of the day you’re just a bunch of fucking cheaters by giving your players an extra sandwich and tattoo money. I can’t wait for the day that this is turned into something teams brag about once the NCAA is nothing but a singular conference made up of one member school – Trump University.