Shaquille O’Neal’s Retirement Press Conference (VIDEO)

Shaq retired, you know that. Here is the big fella’s presser he gave today.

“In light of today, I am retiring all my nicknames. The Big Aristotle, Shaq-Fu, The Big Shamrock, The Big Cactus, The Diesel, and finally, the one and only, original, never to be duplicated or replicated … Superman.” he said. “From now on, you can call me The Big AARP. Association for the Advancements of Retired Persons.”