Playing football with friends and family on Thanksgiving is a time honored tradition almost as revered as the turkey itself.
With that in mind, Houston Texans defensive star and all-around awesome dude JJ Watt has helpfully outlined the universally true rules and penalties for all Backyard Turkey Bowls on Twitter.
So, follow these rules or else you’ll have an angry JJ Watt on your tail and no one wants to be put in that position.
1.) Player safety is always important, especially for the quarterback, so don’t hit the QB high or low. Doing so may cost you some sweet, sweet pie.
Keep hits on all-time QB above knees and below neck or risk being fined 2 pieces of pie. #BackyardTurkeyBowlRules
— JJ Watt (@JJWatt) November 27, 2014
2.) Parity matters. Therefore, both teams must include players of all ages.
Each team must have at least one player from the kids table. Failure to comply results in dish-washing duty. #BackyardTurkeyBowlRules
— JJ Watt (@JJWatt) November 27, 2014
3.) And no, going “onemississiptwomissithreemissfo-” does not count on this rather important rule.
Failure to count to 4 Mississippi before rushing the passer will result in an automatic first down. #BackyardTurkeyBowlRules
— JJ Watt (@JJWatt) November 27, 2014
Follow these steps and have a happy #BackyardTurkeyBowl and Thanksgiving everyone!


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