Every so often, the question is asked – if you could attend any sporting event in history, any event at all, what would it be?
The only correct answer to this question is Dock Ellis’ 1970 no-hitter, a game in which Ellis’ Pirates beat the Padres 2-0.
Ellis’ line that evening? 9 IP, 0 H, 6 K, 8 BB, 1 hit of acid.
As the legend goes, Ellis took acid on the eve of an off-day before a road series in San Diego. He woke up the next morning, and, like any health conscious individual, had a healthy breakfast of more acid. The problem – besides taking hallucinogens before noon – was that Ellis had slept through his day off, and it was now game day. And he was scheduled to start.
No Mas TV has a phenomenal animated video of what transpired next. It’s well worth four minutes of your time.
Some highlights:
I didn’t see the hitters. All I could tell is if they were on the right side or the left side.
and
One time I covered first base, and I caught the ball and tagged the base all in one motion. I said, ‘ooh, just made a touchdown.’
By looking at only at the box score, Ellis’ no-hitter is one of the least impressive in history, right up there with A.J. Burnett’s 9-walk “masterpiece” and Edwin Jackson’s 8-walk, 147-pitch “gem.” (Sure, there have probably been worse no-hitters, but I’m a Cubs fan and would never pass up a chance to take a shot at E-Jax.) Based on sheer degree of difficulty, however, Dock Ellis’ no-no deserves mad props and should be celebrated for eternity.
In honor of Ellis, who died in 2008, please celebrate irresponsibly.
Follow Sean on Twitter @the_graw
