Among the Internet’s most popular talking points this week: Notre Dame receiver Justin Brent going on a date (that appeared to end well) with porn star Lisa Ann.
ESPN’s business reporter/Internet punching bag Darren Rovell decided to address the news by referencing the Catholic university’s code of conduct policy, which condemns pre-marital sex. In other words, ROVELL IS A SNITCH.
Notre Dame FB player Justin Brent went on date w/porn star. Here's ND's sex section in code of conduct pic.twitter.com/CYk6v4rzvs
— darren rovell (@darrenrovell) October 24, 2014
As expected, people jumped all over Rovell for being a dweeb (despite the fact all he did was simply tweet out a portion of the school’s handbook without any further comment) and the results were pretty outstanding.
Rovell is the guy who told the faculty about the senior prank
— mynameisDavidnotDave (@David__Hamilton) October 24, 2014
Darren Rovell is that guy who tells the waitress you think she's attractive just to make things incredibly awkward.
— Justin Bradley (@JustinBradleyCC) October 24, 2014
Darren Rovell: Twitter's Hall Monitor
— Max (@MaxwellJohn) October 24, 2014
Darren Rovell calls they police with a list of license plates of cars he saw going above the speed limit
— Jimmy GWAPpolo (@MarlonHAAANdo) October 24, 2014
Remember that student bike cop in "How High?" Darren Rovell still collects royalties for that character being based on his likeness.
— Andrew Swiggins (@deeej15) October 24, 2014
Darren Rovell throws challenge flags during pick-up football games.
— David (@SEC301Kings) October 24, 2014
Darren Rovell brings his own whistle to the public pool, so he can notify the lifeguards if he sees any horseplay
— Sean Coleman (@seancole22) October 24, 2014
Darren Rovell is the guy who calls the cops on the kids who hop the fence to retrieve the ball they accidentally threw into his yard.
— Grant (@GinoHammer7) October 24, 2014
Hey @ESPN I don't pay for your cable network for you to go on a fishing expedition into a teenagers sex life, please reprimand @darrenrovell
— re_animated_obert_ (@rowast) October 24, 2014
@darrenrovell Good lord you must've gotten the shit kicked out of you constantly growing up.
— Jack Murphy (@02jrm) October 24, 2014
.@darrenrovell Surely you know from your owb personal experiences that dates almost never lead to sex.
— Evan (@haassauce) October 24, 2014
@darrenrovell The only way to be sure, Darren, is if you slip into his bedroom at night and hide in the closet. Oh, you already tried that?
— Kroline (@krolineart) October 24, 2014
@darrenrovell is Cheese from old school. #Cheeeeesssseeee pic.twitter.com/F0O31KOC6S
— Tommy C (@Tjpc5217) October 24, 2014
fucking nerd RT @darrenrovell My decision to remain pure during college was due to my respect of my university's code of conduct.
— future baby (@marmolheater) October 24, 2014
.@darrenrovell you are a living, breathing soggy blanket
— andrew smith (@andrewsmith38) October 24, 2014
@darrenrovell if you can't get vagina, no one can. Amirite?
— Ryan (@ryro23) October 24, 2014
c'mon man, get it together RT @darrenrovell I'm all horned up and I'm smoochin my calculator
— Ethan BOO!ker (@Ethan_Booker) October 24, 2014
@RovellReplies http://t.co/8Y4AZevExi This is Darren IRL.
— Bob (@BeeOhBeeRT_R) October 24, 2014
Rovell hands out vegan burgers for Halloween.
— The Bulldog™ (@The_Bulldog_) October 24, 2014
Darren Rovell probably turned his parents in when they took the tag off of their mattress.
— Jimmy K (@JimmyKoury) October 24, 2014
Darren Rovell counts how many items you're taking through the express lane.
— Jen (@lostbyamile) October 24, 2014
Darren Rovell is the Chode of Conduct.
— Butter Chicken (@MrButterChicken) October 24, 2014
Darren Rovell talking about sex is the most effective form of birth control. Even moreso than abstinence.
— Kieran Frail (@fuzzybritches) October 24, 2014
At his senior prom Darren Rovell spent the whole night letting chaperones know which couples were dancing too close together.
— Dominic (@Jagerdom) October 24, 2014
Rovell had his hall monitor sash from junior high framed and hung in his bedroom.
— Chris Jackson (@ChrisCJackson) October 24, 2014
@darrenrovell I hope a magician saws you in half and forgets to finish the rest of the trick
— Brendan Kottmann (@BKottmann2325) October 24, 2014
RT @darrenrovell: I touched a woman once. Her skin was soft. I bet she used Aveeno brand skin cream.
— Matt Johnson (@twoeightnine) October 24, 2014
.@darrenrovell You must be great at parties.
— Ryan Probasco (@ProbascoRyan) October 24, 2014
Rovell is that roommate who refused to let his roomie and girlfriend have the place to themselves, didn't obey the sock on door knob signal.
— Adam Papageorgiou (@adamosgp) October 24, 2014
Darren Rovell alerts Chipotle workers when he sees someone filling up a water cup with soda.
— Charlie Scaturro (@ChScaturro) October 24, 2014
Darren Rovell was the kid who told the bully where the nerds were hiding.
— Joe Meloni (@JoeMeloni) October 24, 2014
— Sean Gentille (@seangentille) October 24, 2014
In 1999, Darren Rovell called illegal defense during a pickup game.
— Sean Gentille (@seangentille) October 24, 2014
Darren Rovell flags down a cop in a 7-11 parking lot. "There they are, officer! Loiterers!"
— Sean Gentille (@seangentille) October 24, 2014
17-year-old Darren Rovell shows up at a party with a six-pack of Fanta, then calls the cops after people ignore him.
— Sean Gentille (@seangentille) October 24, 2014
Darren Rovell calls his freshman roommate's mother. "Hey, Mrs. Davis. Dan keeps marijuana in a desk drawer. Just thought you should know."
— Sean Gentille (@seangentille) October 24, 2014
[h/t @RovellReplies]
