Hot DogI’m almost ashamed to admit this monstrosity hails from Seattle, but when a city is looking to redefine the hot dog game, I guess you have to go all out. Guinness World Records has officially declared the Juuni Ban, by Seattle hot dog truck Tokyo Dog, to be the world’s most expensive hot dog. The ingredients in the Juuni Ban include: smoked cheese bratwurst, butter Teriyaki grilled onions, Maitake mushrooms, Wagyu beef, foie gras, shaved black truffles, caviar and Japanese mayonnaise, and is served on a brioche bun.

Of course, all those fancy toppings are useless if nobody is buying this thing, and Guinness agreed. It wouldn’t grant the title “World’s Most Expensive Hot Dog” without the Juuni Ban being sold through a “legitimate business transaction”. Tokyo sold six, and donated all the proceeds to the Red Cross.

You’re probably (or perhaps not) wondering “how can I try this thing?” That’s where things get annoying (other than the price) — you can’t just walk up to the window and order one. You have to give two weeks advance notice. So, if you’re planning a trip to Seattle on Labor Day Weekend, be sure to place your order by, oh, this Saturday. Now, here’s where I counter this nonsense with a suggestion: find one of the approximately 5 zillion sidewalk dog stands scattered throughout every popular nightlife neighborhood, order a $5 dog and tell the guy to put cream cheese on it. Your drunk ass can thank me later, because I just saved you $164, plus you had an actual Seattle-style dog* you can tell all your friends about (or not).

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*Satisfaction not guaranteed, but don’t knock it ’til you try it.