Rick BrunsonFormer Chicago Bulls player and assistant coach Rick Brunson had a clever trick up his sleeve in order to get an appointment with a masseuse he’d been banned from seeing. Records show that the 42-year-old Brunson had booked 19 appointments — seven of which were with the accusing party — at Lifetime Fitness in Vernon Hills (Ill.) from December 2011 through August 2013. After the last visit (August 21st), the anonymous masseuse asked Brunson to stop requesting her services.

Apparently, Brunson’s genius plan to get another 60-minute massage was to impersonate someone with a bit higher pedigree. Specifically, Patrick Ewing. Brunson used the former Knicks star and Hall of Famer as an alias, and found himself in the same room with his former masseuse on April 2nd. The masseuse went ahead with the session, as it was a booked time slot. Over the course of the hour, Brunson proceeded to touch her inappropriately, and he’s now facing charges of sexual abuse, attempted sexual assault and three counts of battery.

Brunson’s gym membership was terminated on April 9th, and he’s scheduled to appear in court on Thursday.

On another note, I’m definitely using “Patrick Ewing” to score restaurant reservations.