YachtMichael Bray, a 22-year-old Texas man, found himself half-naked, drunk and high in a Seattle marina September 15th, attempting to commandeer a yacht. In his attempt to flee the marina, Bray rammed into other boats and the dock. A man living on a boat at the Queen City Yacht Club put a stop to the carnage by shooting Bray in the face with a birdshot-loaded shotgun. When police arrived, they found Bray, who was drunk and high on ecstasy, marijuana and mushrooms, naked from the waist down, babbling about Asian female ninjas and Steven Seagal movies:

“The defendant was very agitated and told officers that he was a CIA operative and had been pursued throughout the day by an ‘Asian female ninja’ who had been trying to kill him,” the prosecutor told the court. “As officers approached him, the defendant said ‘one of you are dead.’”

Interviewed by police the morning after the rampage, Bray claimed he was being chased by a “crazy lady” from a “Steven Segal movie,” according to charging papers.

The $94,000 Para-a-gon that Bray attempted to steal was a total loss, as was one other vessel. He caused damage to 18 other boats and an estimated $200,000 damage to the docks. In all, he inflicted $483,000 in damage and now faces charges of first-degree theft, as well as first-degree malicious mischief and reckless endangerment.

About that “Asian female ninja”, we’re not sure which Steven Seagal movie she’s from.