You may have heard, there’s a new Grand Theft Auto out. The buzz around GTA 5 has been absurdly enormous. What’s also absurdly enormous is was the budget to make and market the highly anticipated game, to the tune of $265 million (GTA IV had a miniscule $100 million budget). This is easily the most expensive video game of all-time, but it’s also pricier than nearly all of Hollywood’s costliest films. Sterne Agee analyst Arvind Bhatia projects the game will sell 7 million units, $400 million worth—in its first day, putting it second in history only to Activison’s “Call of Duty: Black Ops II,” which sold $500 million worth of games in its first day last year. RW Baird analyst Colin Sebastian expects the game to generate over $1 billion in retail sales in its first month alone (That’s a “billion” with a “B”).


The epic game has garnered flattering press with positive reviews coming across the board.

“It is one of the very best video games ever made.” – IGN.

“The number of moving parts in GTA 5 is astounding.” – GamesRadar

“Rockstar Games has scaled a mountain with Grand Theft Auto V, creating the best-looking, best-sounding and, most importantly, best-playing version of gaming’s most notorious franchise.” – Kotaku

There is one bad review, College Humor thinks that Grand Theft Auto V may have become too realistic, thus just like your boring, ordinary life.

There were 4,000 GameStop stores that opened at midnight on Tuesday morning to sell GTA 5 and armies of eager gamers lined up to be the first to purchase the game-changing experience. However some people’s desire to acquire the most coveted game also caused some problems. A 23-year-old British man was hit with a brick, stabbed and stripped of his copy of Grand Theft Auto V, mobile phone in London. Then there is the story of three men dressed as police officers, including flashing a badge and driving a car with lights and a siren, just so they could cut a line at the Game Stop in Staten Island Mall to buy GTA V. However unlike GTA they could not run away and get their car painted to avoid the cops, they were arrested and charged with criminal impersonation for claiming to be NYPD officers. However a 70-year-old man is probably alive today because two brothers rescued him from a house fire while on their way back from buying GTA 5 at midnight.

Please remember that Grand Theft Auto is only a game and it is not advised that you carjack innocent drivers.

In the game it appears you can knockout mimes, but masturbating in a theater is strictly prohibted (Sorry Pee-wee Herman).


The only loser in all this amazing gaming news is the many soon-to-be ignored girlfriends and wives. Sorry ladies it may be months before you see your man again because the game is massive. The map is bigger than Red Dead Redemption, San Andreas and Grand Theft Auto IV COMBINED. It will take you nearly six minutes to drive across the imaginary Los Angeles replica city “Los Santos.” For the tortured women whose men are GTA zombies, why not join your fella and rob a prostitute as this Grand Theft Auto musical suggests.