When we last saw Vanessa Hudgens, she was with her BFF/partner in crime Ashley Benson, ***SPOILER ALERT***driving off in Gucci Mane’s orange Lambo after mowing down Gucci and an entire mansion full of armed guards and posse members at the end of Spring Breakers***SPOILER ALERT***. Oh, sorry, did I ruin it for you? Good, I just saved you $11.50 that you would have spent on easily one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen…and I like bad movies. (Or I just didn’t “get it”, right?)
It was Hudgens’ first “adult” role, which reminds me of something: Anne Hathaway must thank God every night that her first “adult” role came in the pre-Twitter, pre-YouTube, media Stone Age of 2005, when she morphed from a Disney princess into a “totally fuckin’ bored” (actual line from the movie) wannabe East LA gangster in Havoc — a straight-to-video mess of boobs, guns, drugs featuring one of the most awkward and disturbing sexual assaults in film history. It’s a delightful movie, nay, film, worth watching on IFC at 2 am, which is when it’s usually on.
However, unlike the highly publicized debauchery of two former Disney stars — Hudgens, Selena Gomez — and their adventures with a braided James Franco, Havoc has been seemingly (and suspiciously) stricken from recorded history. Seriously, try and find it mentioned in any piece on Hathaway since, like, ever. Good luck.
Anyway, back to Hudgens. As part of her full court press for Spring Breakers, and to let the world know she’s serious about being more scandalous, she teamed up with trendy girl pop group YLA and recorded “$$$ex”, and the video, which released today, sums up Harmony Korine’s Sunshine State orgy in the span of 2 minutes and 25 seconds (well, a PG-13 version, that is). What a mess. But maybe I didn’t “get” this one either.