Of Course Somebody Sued Subway Over The Footlong Fiasco

Hard to say we didn’t see this coming: two men filed a lawsuit against fast food chain Subway on Tuesday, claiming they’ve been shorted on their footlong sandwiches. The suit stems from the fallout of a recent post on Subway’s Australian Facebook page claiming the restaurant’s signature sub is only 11 inches, rather than a full foot. The realization sparked feigned outrage around the world, eventually reaching American shores — the Jersey shore, in this case — where some lawyer looking to make a quick buck and a name for himself got involved.

The lawyer in this case is Stephen DeNittis, who measured 17 so-called footlongs on behalf of his clients John Farley and Charles Noah Pendrack, and discovered (to his feigned horror) that none were actually a full 12 inches. Denittis says the company should either make their sandwiches 12 inches, or stop advertising them as footlongs: “The case is about holding companies to deliver what they’ve promised.”

Farley and Pendrack are seeking compensatory damages, which, on the off-chance they win, should be paid in the form of one-inch slices of bread — you know, if we lived in a just world.