NBA, NFL, Sports

Rabbit Punches: Wimbledon, Ray Allen, Adrian Peterson, Yankees/Sox, Olympics

A Rabbit Punch has two meanings, both of which describe the nature of the article. 1. A series of fast punches. 2. An illegal punch to the back of the head between the skull and the first vertebrate that can cause permanent damage to the nerves or death.


Roger Federer won his 7th Wimbledon championship and his 17th Grand Slam title, tying the record set by Pete Sampras. Federer now has a claim to the best men’s player of all time, especially since Sampras’ main rival was on meth.

Andy Murray fell short in his first Wimbledon finals, unable to be the first British Wimbledon champion in 76 years. To add insult to injury, had Murray won, the British crown would have given him his own Caribbean island colony, and a no-question-asked night with Princess Kate.

Serena Williams won her 5th Wimbledon championship, and her 14th Grand Slam title. Serena’s 14 titles doubles her sister Venus Williams Grand Slam titles (7), making Serena the Eli Manning of this tennis power house family. It is meant to a be a confusing joke.

Ray Allen takes his talents to South Beach, taking a pay cut to play with the reigning NBA champions. The decision was hard for Allen having to turn down tempting offers from Big State and Tech U.

The Phoenix Suns execute a sign-and-trade deal sending Steve Nash to the L.A. Lakers. Nash, 38, and Kobe Bryant, 33, will spend their off-season modeling a two-man game after Woody Harrelson and Wesley Snipes.

Police arrested Adrian Peterson on charges of resisting arrest. I ain’t no fancy big city lawyer or nuthin’ but it seems to me that when arresting someone for resisting arrest, there needs to be at least one preceding charge brought against the perpetrator. I find myself resisting arrest every single time I have not initially broken a law.

The rival Yankees and the Red Sox faced off over the weekend in sport where heated rivalries only really exist between drunk fans and beaned batters. But go ahead Bill Simmons, tell me how this is one fo the best rivalries in sports, between two of the biggest markets that the national media have no vested interest in proliferating. You know which rivalries merits our attention, Czech Republic vs. Russia hockey, India vs. Pakistan cricket, England/Gremany vs. almost anyone.

Team U.S.A. men’s basketball team finalized their roster and begins practice this week. Like 2008, it should be fun to see what Coach K can do with a team he recruited without academic restrictions.

Serge Ibaka claimed the Spanish National team has the talent to match the U.S. squad. Ibaka went on to explain, “If it was 3 on 3 half court, we could totally beat the U.S.”

Remember to stretch.

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