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Fun With Email: “Sept. 3rd/4th Santa Fe Show and Clinic”

Oh Santa Fe

It seems that my personal Gmail account is easily confused with a woman named Cindy’s Gmail account.  From time to time I get emails from a group of ranchers, horse enthusiasts or something of the like which are intended for Cindy but reach my inbox instead.  I have been ignoring them for months but decided to reply to one recently just to have some fun.

Since that last one, I have gotten a few more.  This time the email chain goes in two directions.  The first is from a man named Kevan who is trying to organize a show and clinic in Santa Fe, New Mexico.  This email went out to a bunch of people so I figured I’d hit the motherlode.  Here’s how it all started:

From: Kevan
To: Cindy

Sent: Fri, Aug 26, 2011
Subject: Re: clinic and show in sf.

 

Dear New Mexico, Arizona, and Colorado NVRHA Versatility Ranch Riders…

 

The days, September 3rd and 4th are fast approaching, for our clinic and show at the Santa Fe Equestrian Center,

Santa Fe, NM. I have been able to contract cattle at a reasonable price and the budget for this show is $340.00 for the clinic and show and $185.00 for the clinic only.  Mozaun, arguably the best versatility rider in the United States is our Clinician and Judge. Terry, of Santa Fe and a renowned reining horse trainer is our reining clinician and dry work judge.

We have built the budget at 25 riders, therefore in this e mail, I am asking that you decide about attending, and let me know by Monday what your plans are.

Our contingency plan is to have a two day clinic with Mozaun, if enough show riders do not materialize. Because Mozaun travels from Whitesboro, Texas, I have to give him some idea of attendance early in the week, and I need some day’s notice for increasing or decreasing the numbers of cattle needed.

Please let me know via e mail, register through the NVRHA web site, or phone one of us so that we can get a realistic estimate of attendees.

I am very excited about this clinic and show, and the opportunity to listen to Mozaun is special invitation.

Please let me know if you plan to attend.

 

From: Cindy
To: Kevan

Sent: Mon, Aug 29, 2011

Subject: Re: clinic and show in sf.

Hi Kevan,

This is really amazing news!  I am, however, wondering if $340 is a bit much for this guy?  Do you think it’s worth it to do the show as well as the clinic?

 

From: Kevan
To: Cindy

Sent: Mon, Aug 29, 2011
Subject: Re: clinic and show in sf.

Well….not sure what to tell you.  I have ridden with Terry and she is a wealth of information from both a skilled competitor’s point of view and a judges point of view. She is a coach and has coached many amateurs to big wins.  She is fabulous help.  I can’t speak about Mozaun’s teaching but he is certainly  doing something right in the show ring and he is a hand.

-Kevan

 

From: Cindy
To: Kevan

Sent: Mon, Aug 29, 2011
Subject: Re: clinic and show in sf.

I understand completely but I’d like to get the price down to $295.

 

From: Kevan
To: Cindy

Sent: Mon, Aug 29, 2011
Subject: Re: clinic and show in sf.

Well, I understand.  I have forwarded your email to Charles.  I am the messenger and not the show managers.  Tommy and Charles will have to answer you.  I don’t think they can make the show work by giving people individual prices to people.  I do know that you can do one day for $185 (either the show or the clinic).

Kevan

 

And so Kevan passed Cindy’s lament on to a fellow named Charles, one of the organizers.  Oddly enough, Charles had already sent Cindy a personal note on the side asking about her intentions.  Let’s see if anything from Cindy’s sordid past comes to light here:

 

From: Charles
To: Cindy

Sent: Mon, Aug 29, 2011
Subject: Re: clinic and show in sf.

are you coming.

C

 

From: Cindy
To: Charles
Sent: Mon, Aug 29, 2011
Subject: Re: clinic and show in sf.

Hi!  I’d like to but I’m trying to get the price down to $295.  I was working with Kevan and he said you could do it.

 

From: Charles
To: Cindy

Sent: Mon, Aug 29, 2011
Subject: Re: clinic and show in sf.

If you are coming to the show, and clinic our budget needs to charge 340 for both days, and l85 for each day individually, unless you are a green horn, and that is a different price, first time, novice, first show.

If I charge you less, then I have to rework to charge everyone more.

My expenses are cattle, clinicians, facilities, and judges and their expenses.

Please let me know if you are a green horn.

Charles

From: Cindy
To: Charles
Sent: Mon, Aug 29, 2011
Subject: Re: clinic and show in sf.

Well I wouldn’t want everyone else to have to pay more because of me.

 

Between you and I, do you think Terry is over what happened last time?

 

From: Charles
To: Cindy

Sent: Mon, Aug 29, 2011
Subject: Re: clinic and show in sf.

you are not signing your e mail, and I don’t know either who you are or what happened to terry.

Please fill me in.

Charles

From: Cindy
To: Charles

Sent: Mon, Aug 29, 2011
Subject: Re: clinic and show in sf.

Sorry, Charles. I thought Terry might have mentioned what happened between us last time. I apologize for bringing it up.
-CA

 

From: Charles
To: Cindy

Sent: Mon, Aug 29, 2011
Subject: Re: clinic and show in sf.

I have no idea who you are, or why you are saying this, or even what you are saying. You do not use your name, and I assume that you are trying to allign me to your cause?

Please do not write me any more of these notes.

Charles

From: Cindy
To: Charles

Sent: Mon, Aug 29, 2011
Subject: Re: clinic and show in sf.

There’s no need to get upset, Charles, and I’m not trying to align you to any cause.  I was simply asking if Terry had mentioned what happened between she and I.  I just wanted to see if her emotions were still running deep as we haven’t spoken since that night. 

-Cindy

 

Charles never replied after this one, as I’m sure the lesbian tryst Cindy and Terry had threw him off his game just a tad.  I was really hoping to score a bit bigger with this one.

On a side note, there was another email from a woman asking her friends with help moving over the 10th and 11th of September.  Cindy, ever the helpful friend, replied to all that she would be happy to help on the 10th but would be unavailable on the 11th, due to the fact that she’d be “celebrating the anniversary of the attacks on 9/11.”  Everyone ignored that, alas.