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The Expendables 2: Even More Expendable

At Cosby Sweaters we have been closely following the development of future Best Picture Academy Award winning film The Expendables 2 .  As if the Stallone, Statham, Li, Lundgren, Roberts, Couture, Austin, Schwarzenegger, Willis lineup wasn’t enough now there are rumors that Charlie Sheen could be in the mix and Bruce Willis might go from un-credited cameo to arch villain.   That might be enough extra glitz for some but at Cosby Sweaters we believe too much is never enough which is why we are ready to help out with our recommendations for the additions to the cast.  Here’s our top three, you’re welcome Sly.

Van Damme. This one shouldn’t even be speculation because The Expendables never should have been made without him and it’s time to right that wrong.   Seems possible he could get time off from the filming of Universal Soldier: The New Dimension to make this happen (that bring up a question, what will happen to straight to DVD movies when digital completely kills DVDs?  That has to be keeping Jean Claude up at night).   If you have a problem with adding JCVD you better run before you get a roundhouse kick to the face.

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The Rock. Let’s be clear, this needs to be the Rock not Dwayne Johnson, if he comes anywhere near a shirt it just doesn’t have the right aura of trashiness that this film needs.  It would be great just for the contrast and unspoken tension between the beefy action heroes of the past and present.  Just imagine how many more painful shirtless shots of Sly we’ll be subjected to when he is trying to make sure everyone knows his  HGH fueled comeback has been a success.  Couple that with “Do you smell what the rock is cookin’” and “I’ll be back” back-to-back somewhere in the script and this one just can’t be denied.

The Rock - CS

Patrick Swayze. Yeah, we said it, Swayze.  Don’t even start with all that “he’s dead, you can’t cast dead people” crap.  What are you reading this blog on?  That’s right, a computer.  Somewhere in a well air conditioned building in Silicon Valley someone is reading this and thinking “that just might be possible.”   When the dead person in question is this badass you find a way to make it happen.  We’ve laid the track Hollywood all you have to do is get the CGI train moving towards awesomeness station.

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Honorable Mention: Vin Diesel (not sure how many careers can be rehabbed in one movie), Steve Seagal (Too fat), Hulk Hogan/HHH/The Undertaker (sorry, Stone Cold and The Rock took the wrestler spots), Dolph Lundgren (oh wait, he was already in it, too many of these has beens to keep track of).

You’ve got your shot below, let us know who needs to be on the list and we’ll make it happen.