The XFL is returning in 2020, minus the gimmicks, “the scramble” and presumably the nicknames on the back of jerseys that brought Rod “He Hate Me” Smart to the world. The league failed, but its legacy lives on, especially in the mind of football legend, the Hefty Lefty himself, Jared Lorenzen.

Lorenzen, who already has two of the best nicknames in sports (the Pillsbury Throwboy being the other), wants to be a part of the new XFL with another nickname on the back of his jersey.

“He Ate Me.” I’m in love. Jared Lorenzen would have certainly won the Piesman if that was a thing when he played at Kentucky, but we’re sure if he’s playing in the new XFL, he’ll win the Piesman, or some form of XFL award like it. Lorenzen will be 38, turning 39 when the new XFL kicks off, and even if we’re not all that enthused on what this new XFL may be if Jared Lorenzen is playing, let alone with that nickname on the back, we’re all in.

Sign him up, Vince.


About Matt Lichtenstadter

Recent Maryland graduate. I've written for many sites including World Soccer Talk,, Testudo Times, Yahoo's Puck Daddy Blog and more. Houndstooth is still cool, at least to me. Follow me @MattsMusings1 on Twitter, e-mail me about life and potential jobs at matthewaaron9 at Yahoo dot com.