Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve seen the video of the kid who received the bong via the mail. He is forced to open it up in front of his mother. He proceeds to play it off but does a terrible job at doing so. The video is an instant classic.

The moment he throws out a “what the frick,” you know he is utterly screwed. He tries to say that it is a vase. He also tries to say that he ordered an Xbox card and before that an Xbox controller. He is trying to throw anything at the wall that sticks.

With a bit of self-reflection, I see a lot of myself in that kid. I was the Shia LeBeouf of lying at one point in time. I started off great, and then over time I eventually stopped giving a shit. The effort isn’t worth the time. The high school version of myself (who didn’t smoke) does respect the kid trying to do whatever he can to avoid trouble from his mom.

His highwire act was never going to work, but he tried. What is the worst possible outcome of trying? He gets in trouble anyway? The kid is already in deep and realizes the error of his ways. Next time just order it under your older brother’s name or your father’s. That is what my younger brother has done, and he is a tiny mastermind.

Long live bong kid.

About Sam Blazer

Sam is a self proclaimed chess prodigy. He once placed seventh in the state of Ohio in Chess when he was in kindergarten. He will rarely if ever mention though that only eight people were entered in this tournament. Contact him at sblaze17@gmail.com