twolvesfRedditor sibewolf, a 16-year-old from Bellingham (Wash.), has spent roughly half his life wandering the mean streets of the Pacific Northwest without an NBA team to root for, ever since David Stern and Clay Bennett conspired to pack up the Seattle SuperSonics and move them away in 2008. After all these years, sibewolf decided to send a personalized, hand-written (hand-written!) letter to all 30 NBA teams — including the Oklahoma City Thunder — asking why he should adopt their team as a new franchise to root for.

TimberwolvesHe received one letter in response, from the Minnesota Timberwolves, a former Northwest Division foe of the SuperSonics. In the…*ahem*…non-hand-written letter, team president Chris Wright responded with a list of ten reasons why he should root for the T-Wolves.

TimberwolvesWe won’t bother to dissect it too much, but Zach LaVine is mentioned in the letter twice, and his name is spelled two different ways. Shabazz Muhammad’s name is misspelled as well. Clearly, the T-Wolves should really look into hiring a proofreader/unpaid intern who can spell for shit. Shit, outsource it to our man in Minnesota. He’ll do it for game tickets, even though he hates the NBA (I know, weird, right?).

Wright also sent a basketball signed by the entire team — a ball that appears to have just been laying around the Timberwolves’ office for a couple years. Apparently, Luke Ridnour’s name is on it, meaning it could only have been signed as recently as the 2012-13 season — Ridnour’s last year in Minnesota. The good news is that Ridnour hails from Blaine, a neighboring city of Bellingham, so at least a famous neighbor is represented on the ball. The bad news: no Kevin Garnett or Andrew Wiggins. Just Ridnour and some dude named Kevin Love. Hey, it’s still better than the big bag of nothing the 29 other teams sent him.

Timberwolves[Reddit]