On Tuesday, the incredibly weird saga of Alex Rodriguez took another unexpected turn when A-Rod decided to issue a hand written apology to “the Fans” for his role in his suspension from baseball.

As there is some natural law which states that anything dealing with Alex Rodriguez has to border somewhere between farce and outright ridiculousness, the Wall Street Journal actually reached out to “certified master graphologist” Paula A. Sassi to have her analyze A-Rod’s handwriting and what it says about him as a person.

Remember, it’s not about what’s written. What matters is how it’s written.

Sassi’s takeaways? A-Rod writes like an egotistical girl.

“He writes like a girl,” Sassi said. “Feminine writing is more rounded, with a lot of connections, which he has throughout this. And a right slant. Masculine writing tends to be more angled, straight up and down, maybe printed.”

“The capital ‘I’s’—that’s where you see the personal ego,” she said. “This is probably what gets him into trouble. He has a very strong-willed, independent ego. They’re so large, and printed. That’s the kind of capital ‘I’ where you say they’re very independent, and strong-willed.”

Sassi also states that, in addition to having a large ego and a feminine hand, A-Rod’s short signature indicates a guarded personality and the looped T’s of his demonstrate that Rodriguez is “very sensitive to work criticism.”

How one can glean all of that from a letter is beyond me. Then again, I’m not the expert here.

[For the Win][Wall Street Journal]