Playing football with friends and family on Thanksgiving is a time honored tradition almost as revered as the turkey itself.

With that in mind, Houston Texans defensive star and all-around awesome dude JJ Watt has helpfully outlined the universally true rules and penalties for all Backyard Turkey Bowls on Twitter.

So, follow these rules or else you’ll have an angry JJ Watt on your tail and no one wants to be put in that position.

1.) Player safety is always important, especially for the quarterback, so don’t hit the QB high or low. Doing so may cost you some sweet, sweet pie.

2.) Parity matters. Therefore, both teams must include players of all ages.

3.) And no, going “onemississiptwomissithreemissfo-” does not count on this rather important rule.

Follow these steps and have a happy #BackyardTurkeyBowl and Thanksgiving everyone!