The box score will suggest that Chase Utley hit an RBI single in the fourth inning of Wednesday’s game against the Mariners.

That is a lie.

Chase Utley’s bat came to life and hit an RBI single in the fourth inning. That is the only reasonable explanation for this.


Yes, the bat flew out of Utley’s hand, and connected with the ball. The baseball then found grass and Jimmy Rollins scored what would be the deciding run in the game.

Basically, Chase Utley’s bat for MVP.