In your “Please God Tell Me People Aren’t This Stupid” news of the morning we bring you the ramblings of Michelle Johnson of Brooklyn, New York. Michelle called up the morning show The Breakfast Club on hip hop radio station Power 105.1 to vent about the war that President Barack Obama wants to wage against Siri. No that wasn’t a typo, I didn’t spell “Syria” incorrectly, this woman believes that the U.S. is about to fire missiles at every iPhone equipped with the talking personal smartphone assistant Siri. I know Siri correctly answers only 20% of the questions you ask her, but that is no reason to declare war on her. This is probably a radio bit, however knowing the ignorance of many people, this is totally plausible. Some people should just give up on life.