The Bathroom Crime Scene

I’m driving home in the pouring rain after a two hour meeting and I need lunch. While on the phone with Esco, I get off the freeway, pull into the Del Taco drive-thru, and score me some tacos. I need to pee bad. I’m not quite close enough to home where I can make it without pissing myself so I drive to the nearest gas station. I get off the phone with Esco, run inside, ask for the bathroom key, go into the restroom, express my bladder, wash my hands, and drive home. Once I get home I sit down and begin shoveling lunch in my mouth. I felt off balance but I didn’t know why. It was my ring, or I should say, lack thereof. I’ve had this ring for years and it’s of great importance to me. I rewind my memory trying to figure out wear my ring could be. I only take my jewelry (watch and ring) off for two things: bed-related activities like sleeping and reading, and taking a shower. That’s when it hit me—it was in the trash. The only possible way it could have come off was when I washed my hands at the gas station. Read on to find out if I found my ring and pictures from my adventure.

It must have slipped off from the soap and water when I dried my hands off with the paper towels. I run out to my car, get inside, and haul ass back to the gas station. When I arrive I tell the attendant that I threw away my ring and asked if the trash bag had been replaced in the last 45 minutes. He saidit hadn’t and I asked if I could take the trash bag from the trashcan with me and if he wouldn’t mind replacing the bag with a new one. He was cool with it and off I went with he trash. When I got home I grabbed some gloves, dumped the trash on the ground, and begin digging. I unfolded each and every piece of toilet paper and paper towel, inspecting them like some CSI shit. After going through 95% of the trash with no ring in sight I started getting upset and depressed. You see, this is somewhat of an ongoing problem for me. In the past month I have managed to lose both an iPhone 4 and an iPad. That’s when I saw it. Laying there peacefully on the concrete next to the last two piece of toilet paper was my ring. I yelled , “VICTORY” at  the rain coming down on me. I was balanced again.