Oprah's Favorite Things

Hey There,

I am a 26 year old male who likes sports, BBQ’s, beer, whiskey, music, and women.  I would consider myself a “typical male,” with “typical male” interests (ie.  If you were to stereotype a “typical male” I would be that).  With that said, I was on the treadmill yesterday flipping through channels and I came across Oprah’s show, but it wasn’t the usual sort of show that I have sat and watched with my mom when she wanted to teach me a lesson in high school (yes, true story). THIS SHOW, was actually completely different. THIS SHOW is called “Oprah’s Favorite Things Episode.”

After some Wiki research, here is the definition; “Oprah’s Favorite Things is an annual segment that appears on The Oprah Winfrey Show. In the segment, which is typically aired during the holiday season, Winfrey shares products with her audience that she feels are noteworthy or that would make a great gift. In addition, the audience members present during the taping of the episode receive items from that year’s list for free.”

This is a fine definition but it does not nearly capture what it actually is. This show is Oprah giving out free sh#t to the audience and having them go absolutely ballistic/crazy/insane as this unfolds. I am not kidding, the audience’s reactions are in the realm of psychotic. Don’t believe me? Check out the below video.

Little did I know, this certain episode was “Oprah Winfrey’s Ultimate Favorite Things” and had a follow up episode as well. I have listed the products given away and my knee-jerk reactions to if I was given that item (in parenthesis).

The list of products given away in the “Ultimate Favorite Things” included:

– A Course in Weight Loss: 21 spiritual lessons for surrendering your weight forever, a book. (That sucks)
– Andre Walker hair care products (Who the hell is Andre Walker)
– Baker’s Edge lasagna and brownie trays with Ghiradelli brownie mix (No food included = FAIL)
– Beecher’s “World’s Best” macaroni and cheese (Am I going to eat this in my seat with no silverware? = FAIL)
– Breville panini press from Williams-Sonoma (Actually LOVE this. I have one myself. You can get a sandwich from the AMPM and just throw it on this bad boy and BOOM; you have a 4 star sandwich)
– Decoded, a book by Jay-Z (Hand it to me and I’m out, Game over. Well done Oprah)
– Elfa Customizable Closet System from The Container Store (Not sure what this is)
– A five-year membership to Netflix (Total retail value is around 13 dollars, thanks Oprah)
– Judith Ripka Eclipse Earrings (I am a guy, why would I want these)
– $100 gift card for Kiva (WTF is Kiva?!?!?!?)
– Kyocera Advanced Ceramic knife 2 piece knife giftset (Knives are cool)
– Lafco House and Home Collection Candle Set (Something for me to stab the other audience members with)
– Limited edition “25th Anniversary” Oprah watch by Philip Stein (Never heard of Philip)
– Ralph Lauren Cashmere Sweater & Cashmere Blanket (COSBY SWEATER?!!?!?!?)
– Lululemon relaxed fit pants (Fit pants don’t look too good on my figure. Pass)
– Four pairs of Nike running shoes (NICE OPRAH! Maybe you should try running?)
– Nikon D3100 digital camera (Straight to E-bay)
– 7-day cruise on the Allure of the Seas from Royal Caribbean International (Cruise’s are essentially prisons on water. Thanks O)
– Round-trip flight on United Airlines to and from the cruise (I’m taking the flight wherever I want, and ditching that prison cruise)
– A “25th Anniversary” Oprah shirt (Something to dust with at home)
– Sony Bravia 52-inch 3D television and blu-ray player (Thanks Oprah!)
– The Beginning, an album from The Black Eyed Peas (Awful band, worse album)
– Tory Burch “Silver Anniversary” tote bag and flat shoes (I AM A GUY! WTF am I going to do with these?)

The second day’s Favorite Things list included:
– iPad, with Scrabble app (Thanks Oprah!!! I’d love this if I didn’t already have 7 Ipads… Oh well, another coaster)
– Ugg sparkle boots (HA! TOO EASY)
– A Coach satchel (Whats in your satchel Louanne)
– Magaschoni tunic and leggings (WTF)
– Hope in a Jar moisturizer by Philosophy (Wow Oprah, you bottled Hope? No you didn’t, Obama did.)
– Nordstrom lingerie and $500 Nordstrom gift card (You wish you could see me in Lingerie)
– Prepara Herb Saver (Who the hell is Herb?)
– Chicken pot pie from Centerville Pie Company (I love Chicken Pot Pies)
– Garrett Popcorn Shops “Oprah’s Favorite Things” tin (Great a tin, and nothing else = FAIL)
– Le Creuset cookware (I’m ok with this)
– Miraclesuit blue jeans (No thanks, these probably have sparkles on them)
– A jewelry box from Pottery Barn (E-bay)
– Diamond earrings from Dana Rebecca Designs (I told you twice, I DO NOT WEAR EARRINGS)
– A gift card for DonorsChoose.org (Never heard of this organization. Sounds like a scam)
– Mini croissants from Williams-Sonoma (Couldn’t Splurge for the regular sized ones?)
– Talbott Teas holiday assortment (I steal all my tea from work, no need for these)
– The Book of Awakening, a book by Mark Nepo (I HATE this book and I’ve never heard of it)
– Illuminations, an album from Josh Groban (HAHHAHAHAH)
– Let It Be Me, an album from Johnny Mathis (Another coaster)
– A 2012 Volkswagen Beetle, due for delivery May 2011 (Nice in theory, but I AM A MAN, this would solidify me getting made fun of for the rest of my life. Thanks for aiding the bullies Oprah)