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Here are some links to help you get through the afternoon:

1. J.K. Rowling writes some Harry Potter fan fiction [AV Club]

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Unfortunately, the entire short story is only available to subscribers at Pottermore.com. According to the AV Club, the story is framed as a piece by reporter Rita Skeeter as she chronicles the Quidditch World Cup final. It’s reportedly full of tidbits on what Harry, Ron and Hermione are doing in their 30s which presumably involves magic.

2. There will be a “live-action” Dumbo movie [Hollywood Reporter]

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Ready for another totally unnecessary adaptation of a Disney classic? Using a mixture of CGI and live action, this new Dumbo movie will also feature a family story to parallel Dumbo’s own adventures. Hopefully, it won’t follow the grim-dark reimagining of Disney live-action predecessors.

3. Marvel Comics will have someone else be Captain America because, hey, there won’t be another Captain America movie for a little while [EW]

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Marvel has revealed that the plan is for someone else to fill Captain America’s shoes because a villain called the Iron Nail somehow removed all the super soldier serum from Steve Rodgers, thus turning him into an old man. Comics, everyone. According to EW, the Falcon seems like a likely candidate to take over the Captain America mantle when this story line goes down in the fall.

4. Uber agrees to cease price gouging during emergencies [ValleyWag]

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As a part of Uber’s expansion to New York, Uber has agreed to stop raising prices during emergencies (yes, Uber does fluctuate its prices when it feels like), which New York code defines as “stress of weather, convulsion of nature, failure or shortage of electric power or other source of energy, strike, civil disorder, war, military action, national or local emergency, or other cause of an abnormal disruption of the market which results in the declaration of a state of emergency by the governor.” In addition, Uber is expected to stop price gouging elsewhere as well. How kind of them.

5. Here’s Spider-Man in Grand Theft Auto IV [Kotaku]

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Spider-Man can still do whatever a spider can but now he can also beat up cops and steal cars.

6. A new Sharknado trailer, this time featuring more Matt Lauer [Grantland]

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Irony is dead y’all.

7. Jim Ross calls the first half of Germany’s match against Brazil in the World Cup [Deadspin]

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Unfortunately, can’t embed it here but go through the link and listen to the majesty that would have been Jim Ross calling Brazil-Germany. It is well worth your time.